The post that started it all. Reading this again makes me laugh because it demonstrates my point that people fundamentally don’t change. I mean, look at these iconic quotes from 2019 me:
“I enjoy oversharing about my life to the discomfort of others, though I should really know better. Either way, you’ll get my irrelevant opinions on all sorts of issues.”
“If you think I don’t have any [haters], you’d be surprised — I am so popular it pains me. I can’t even sin in good conscience anymore.”
This post was the first example of what I would become most well-known for among my juniors — reviews and advice relating to my academic pursuits. And my wit, of course.
One of my purer self-expressions at the time related to the paradox of online authenticity — a recurring issue in my life. The dilemma in summary: being “real” online necessitates sharing negative experiences and potentially controversial opinions because that’s real life. However, doing so could lead to adverse consequences, mainly: (1) it might not be good for your reputation in a hypercurated online environment and (2) your disclosure could be weaponised against you.
(1) is more rooted in insecurity than anything else, but (2) is a real concern. Someone reported me to my superiors when I was a student leader because I allegedly made an inflammatory comment online.
The only thing I learned from that affair then, unfortunately for the instigator, is that some people have such uninteresting lives that they can only spend it attempting (and failing) to drag others down. But I’ll admit that the experience helped me learn to criticise in a way that convinces audiences while the targets can’t do jackshit to me. (-:
I only resolved the dilemma after going through therapy: now, I share whatever I want without concern for others’ opinions. The value that I create and the way I treat others is testament enough to my character. If you can’t see it, that’s on you and not me x
2020: the liberal feminist (ironic) era [16 posts]
Self-explanatory. Interesting in the sense that men do not only represent an outlet of emotional and sexual fulfilment for me (god, if only I could choose otherwise), but because the concept of manhood defined my psychic development as a woman. Freud would be proud.
A chauvinist triggered me to write this. The post is noteworthy because it demonstrated my propensity for conflict and polemics. I’m more selective with my battles now because I’m better able to distinguish what’s worth my time.
But my desire and ability to put men in their place will never die.
Trivia: named after a popular shoujo manga I read when I was younger.
This is the post I am most well-known for. I wrote it because it is what I would have wanted to read as a junior. The support I received motivated me to keep writing; it might be part of the reason I am still posting today.
This post marked a breakthrough for me because it was the first time I actively sought help for my depressive symptoms. It was formative in terms of my journey as a mental health advocate.
Trivia: did you guys know I got into trouble for this series (the mental health logs), because someone didn’t like what I said and reported it to someone with authority over me? I got away again, of course (see the pattern here?), because 1) I can and 2) people are delusional to think that they can police my non-political opinions in our fair and free society.
I have had a long troubled history of insomnia since I was an adolescent (it’s gotten a lot better in 2024, though). I paid doctors hundreds of dollars to confirm what I already knew. Speaking from experience: if you have a sleep issue, also get your mental health checked out — the two are inextricable from one another.
More political commentary. The feelings I experienced when I posted this and when I saw the response to it solidified my commitment to write until I die.
Being single and encountering a bunch of men made me have Many Thoughts about the nature of love, dating, and marriage. So where better to organise all these thoughts creatively than here?
I would like to thank the men who inspired me because, hell, I was compulsively putting out banger after banger LOL. Sublimation is real, and I have lived it.
Embarked on this because I love self-improvement projects and gamifying my life. It’s not working out great because I clearly have impulsivity issues, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t having fun.
Another banger of a series (a little bit of disclosure: I was lovesick. I might still be. But I wouldn’t worry, because it’ll all work out in the end.)
That was a sweet trip down memory lane. Happy 5th birthday, my darling blog! I love you.
I drink a lot of milk tea. When I say “a lot”, I mean that across the 108 days that I’ve tracked my beverage intake so far, I drank milk tea on 57 of those days. Yes, diabetes is hurtling towards me at lightspeed (I have a will in my blog drafts). Anyway,
LATER: Will make an excel sheet to organise the list below.
Rating system:
1/5 = disgusting, didn’t finish 2/5 = blargh will not drink again, struggled to finish 3/5 = OK, fine, might not buy again 4/5 = mm mm good will keep it on my roster 5/5 = all-time fav, unforgettable, fantastic, scrumptious, magnificent, top-tier,
Standard order/quirks:
70% sugar, less pearl, normal ice.
If no black/golden pearl, no topping (white pearl does NOT cut it!)
I drink only milk tea, specifically jasmine/green milk tea. I stand by the belief that a milk tea brand can be judged exclusively by how good its green milk tea is. I will die on this (diabetic) hill.
I like sweet, flowery, and milky stuff.
If it has peach, I am already there.
Now for the brands, arranged in some general order of preference. Limited Edition = LTD
Chagee (now Amps Tea, and then Chagee again, it’s all over the place) – their drinks make me wanna dance like it’s Saturday night. They don’t have black/golden pearls, but I love their teas as much without.
Osmanthus Oolong Latte: 4/5 – I could drink a litre of this and still beg for more
White Peach Oolong Latte: 5/5 – I could hook this up directly to my body like an IV drip and still beg for more
Jasmine Green Tea Latte: 4/5 – one of the better jasmine milk teas on this entire list, sweet and flowery
Seasons Oolong Tea Latte: 3/5 – decent but pales in comparison to the others from this brand
Camelia Latte: to try – my friend recommended it
Nuobei Tea – the Sinicised version of Chagee/Amps Tea, if that was possible
Peach Oolong Tea Latte: 5/5
Jasmine Green Tea Latte: 5/5
Green Grape-Lychee Green Tea: 4/5
No. 17 tea – makes diabetes seem like an afterthought
Jade Green Milk Tea: 5/5 – when I tried this I knew that no matter where this brand goes I will follow like a devoted dog crawling on the floor, begging, whining
Snow Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 4/5 – AUGH (trembling) so good
Snow Peach Oolong Latte: 4/5 – love this, but realised jade green milk tea was superior (and milkier, despite this being a milk latte)
Peach Yakult Green Tea: 3/5 – fixed sugar level, too sweet, and that’s coming from ME
Peach Milk Cap: 3/5 – eh not as good as the others
Roasted Brown Sugar Pearl Milk Tea: 3/5 – ok ok only I am at a loss for words because it really isn’t all that. If I wanted a good brown sugar milk tea I still think of Tiger Sugar (where are you baby)
Koi – the longest-standing pioneer. 50% is often better with their LTD/experimental drinks
Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – can’t go wrong with this OG King, but loses out to No. 17 / Amps’s equivalents overall
Peach Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – 50% is perfect
Honey Milk Tea: 3/5 – decent alternative for people who want something in between green milk tea and “traditional” milk tea, basically, people who cannot make up their mind
Vanilla (Green) Milk Tea: 4/5 – tastes like (yummy) flowers will get this once in a while for kicks
Vanilla Four Seasons Milk Tea: 4/5 – dials back the flowery for the tea. I recommend getting one vanilla GMT and FSMT with your friend and sharing it. Milk tea together just tastes better!
Peach Four Seasons Milk Tea (LTD): 3/5 – too sweet(!), strange
Peach Oolong Milk Tea (LTD): 2/5 – another peach but somehow I don’t like it… everything tastes wrong in an artificial way
Lychee Milk Tea (LTD): 3/5 – fragrant but too sweet; can’t taste the tea
Peanut Butter Milk Tea (LTD): rare 1/5 – what were they thinking
My brother, the peanut butter connoisseur: “The peanut butter is Skippy but mixed with milk tea tastes like Shitty” he’s right
Mango Four Seasons Milk Tea (LTD), 50%: 3/5 – the verdict that my friend and I submit is that Koi wants to be experimental, but they’re better off sticking to the classics. This one tastes like mango sago, but where is the tea? Also, we got 50% but it was sweeter than my 100% sugar White Peach Oolong Latte from Amps. How do they determine their sugar levels? My gut feeling about men is more accurate.
Yakult Green Tea: 4/5 – if I was on a milk ban, this would be a good alternative
Lychee Black Tea (LTD): 3/5 – Again, I only drank this because I was on a milk tea ban. It will not happen again. But it was alright.
3Seasonstea
Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 5/5 – Sumptuous stuff — I was drinking it exclusively for weeks at one point while hammering out my thesis. Their sugar is light but lingers on the tongue (a sweetener, maybe?) My custom order, breaking from the usual: more sugar, milk cap/foam, crystal jelly instead of black pearl.
LiHo – I’d say I’m too good for them, but I drank it weekly at school anyway
Jasmine Light Milk Tea Cloud(LTD?): 4/5 – I actually LOVE the cloud concept and there’s this wonderful lingering taste but WHY IS IT NOT SWEET??? I ASKED FOR A 100%!!! Still think about this one sometimes though.
Gardenia Light Milk Tea Cloud (LTD?): 4/5 – I ASKED FOR A 100% AND I HAD TO ASK FOR MORE!!! I HAD TO ASK FOR MORE!!! Would drink again with extra sugar though.
Green Milk Tea: 3/5 – Not that great, but it’s the only drink I’ll accept pudding topping for
Money Money Light Milk Tea Cloud (LTD?): 4/5 – Glutinous rice-based. Not bad at all my friend treated me to this and then I downed 75% of it (we were supposed to share) sorry HW hope you like the necklace though ❤
AtTea – naming a whole milk tea brand after yourself is such a power move
Jasmine Milk Tea: 3.5/5 – lovely in a subtle way, but not enough to become a regular rotation
Pink Meteor 945 (50%): 3/5 – My friend got this, of course — I’m not that adventurous. Has pomegranate and guava in it? A nice drink to share, but not to drink alone.
iTea – your friendly neighbourhood bbt store
Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – light on tea but great on milky taste + bonus point for their insane value of $2.50 (free pearls!!!). Literally the only thing I drink at iTea like I have FILLED their loyalty cards with this alone
PlayMade — strong USP with their pearls, but their tea quality is unremarkable
Osmanthus Oolong Latte (w Cactus Pearl): 3.5/5 – my guilty pleasure, but starting to pale in comparison with the other brands
White Grape Milk Tea (w White Grape Pearl) (LTD): 4/5 – a big dopamine hit. The white grape pearls are a BOP. Better at 50%; it’s saccharine sweet
White Peach Oolong Milk Tea (w White Peach Pearl) (LTD): 3/5 – taste encapsulates my evaluation of PlayMade – I’m excited about what it could be until I actually try it…
Each A Cup – your friendly neighbourhood bbt store, II
Jasmine Milk Tea: 4/5 – This one tastes like meeting an old friend… time passes, you meet new people, and you forget about them gradually, but when you encounter them again, you remember why you loved them
Gong Cha — credits to this for being the only brand where you can taste some semblance of actual tea in their milk teas
Pearl Milk Tea: 3/5 – my daddy’s favourite. You can actually taste the tea in this one!
Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 4/5 – honestly, not bad at all. It’s milky, sweet, and has the aftertaste of tea.
Chi Cha San Chen — interestingly, low on the list (I’m not a tea purist)
Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Mousse/Cream, 100%: 3/5 – nothing wrong with it, there’s just better (milk) teas out there
Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Mango: 3/5 – I feel like you could order this from your Kopitiam aunty and she would grin and say “ok 美女” and it would cost $2? LOL
Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Passionfruit (50%): 3/5 – as sweet as the mango version because of the syrup they use. Review same as above
HeyTea — the closest thing to milk teas from Shanghai (those are really good btw)
Pure Aqua Green Jasmine Milk Tea (DISCONTINUED): 5/5 – absolute perfection. I remember the first time I drank this — I was irreversibly altered. They literally lost a customer (me) for discontinuing this. I strolled into an outlet one fine day, delirious with anticipation. I nearly screamed when they told me it was gone, and I walked out. I have never bought from them again. Let me know when they put it back on the menu, though.
Milksha (COLLAPSED) — goodbye
Wheat Milk Tea: 2/5 — YUCKS!! That is all
Green Milk Latte: 3/5 — Ehhh this score was foreshadowing that it would close down
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I recently read Atomic Habits and wrote a summarised version of each chapter for my own reference. But I went beyond to include my own tables and exercises based on James’s suggestions. And thus the Summary/Action Guide to Atomic Habits was born. I’m sharing it here in the hopes that others will find it useful.
This is part 2/2 of the book summary. Read part 1 here if you haven’t already!
Mandatory recommendation to support James Clear by buying his book. While I think my guide is fantastic, it can never beat learning from the author himself.
THE 3RD LAW: MAKE IT EASY
CHAPTER 11: WALK SLOWLY, BUT NEVER BACKWARD
Motion vs action
Motion: planning and strategising and learning “how to”, but without doing.
Action: actually doing.
Examples
Motion: outlining ideas for 10 blog posts (haha!)
Action: actually sitting down to write a post
It’s easy to fall into the trap where you’re in motion convincing yourself you’re making progress. But motion in itself does not produce any outcome. Only actual action will get the results we’re looking to achieve.
Takeaway: Start practicing your habits immediately instead of spending all the time planning and delaying!
Habits form based on frequency of repetition, not time
Repetition leads to change at the neuronal level.
After enough repetitions, habits move from effortful practise to become automatic
Automaticity occurs when we no longer need to think about the steps involved
The key to developing a habit is that you take the actions you need to make progress and do it frequently.
We can practice our habits by making them easy (next chapter).
Exercise 11.1: Taking action
Write down one habit action you’ve been meaning to do
List 1 “motion” and “action” aspect.
How can you take action today to start the activity?
I’m probably late to the game but I recently read Atomic Habits and found it a game-changer for my own life! Due to the sheer volume of tips and content covered, I found myself writing a summarised version of each chapter after reading. But I went beyond to include my own tables and exercises based on James’s suggestions. And thus the Action Guide to Atomic Habits was born.
I’d like to share it here in the hopes that others will find it useful!
Mandatory recommendation to support James Clear by buying his book. While I think my modified guide is fantastic, it can never beat learning from the author himself.
JAMES COMMANDS YOU
Before we begin, my review of Atomic Habits: 5/5 stars. This book marked a paradigm shift for me. It is also well-integrated with psychological principles, so bonus points! I also love that there are many action pointers interspersed throughout the book, though I would have appreciated it even more if he straight up had “exercises”. But it’s alright because I’ve created them – problem solved.
*This post is the first of two. It covers the first 10 chapters in the book (of 17), because writing a summary takes time. Also, because the content covered can be dense, don’t expect to be able to finish the summary/exercises in one sitting. Yes – you know what that means! Bookmark this page, subscribe to me for updates, and send love if you enjoyed it!
USING THIS GUIDE
For starters, I recommend selecting one habit – and only one – that you hope to build and focusing on it via the exercises in this guide. The habit I’ve been working on is reading academic journal articles every day. Well then, without further ado…
Mental health in youths is the In Thing now. There’s been a proliferation of ground-up and top-down initiatives targeting this issue in the past year, with even the Singapore government publicly committing to progressive improvements (albeit not reforms). This leads us to the questions: what resources are available, and are they adequate?
For me, there was one FREE resource under my nose I’d neglected for the longest time: the school counsellor. Yes – after more than four years in university and pursuing two psychology (!) degrees, I finally reached out to the NTU University Counselling Centre(UCC). This post will describe my experience seeking counselling services from the NTU UCC.
Sections to be covered (Ctrl-F to skip to a section directly, e.g. [1]):
[1] Why people don’t always seek help [2] Booking the appointment + waiting time [3] The actual counselling session
Even though I visited a university counsellor, I expect the overall experience to be generalisable, so youths of other ages and institutions may still find this post applicable. Students not from NTU/uni may skip [2], though I’d still recommend you read everything.
My goal here is to encourage help-seeking on my readers’ part: if you feel like you’re facing difficulties with your mental health in any way, go to a professional if you can. Don’t wait until your stresses boil over and you find yourself in a state of burnout (speaking from experience).
[1] THE PREAMBLE: WHY PEOPLE DON’T ALWAYS SEEK HELP
Considering I’m a psychology graduate, it’s ironic how I’ve never seen a counsellor. I mean, I’ve studied under clinical practitioners. Hell, I took a counselling module once, where my counselling skills were assessed. (Minor flex: I was the “top performer” in the cohort for that module. But look at where I am now. So.) Either way, I’ve never been a client.
That’s not to say I never considered the prospect of seeking help – I just never got around to doing so.
The point is: there’s a gap between intention and action that many of us find ourselves stuck in. You know (from the indelicate “oh mental health is superrrr important and we shouldn’t neglect it” narrative that we’re bombarded by) that seeking help is good, but… you just can’t seem to bring yourself through the steps to get there.
Granted, not everyone has the energy or time to seek professional help. There exists a multitude of (valid) reasons people don’t. Here are mine in the past that I cycled through at my convenience:
I am busy / I have too much work / I don’t have time / it’s too much of a hassle
It might not help me / I could just talk to my friends or family
It’s too expensive* (high-SES private therapists can go up to $180/h)
*So I found a free service. Baby steps, my friends.
Tl;dr: in deciding to seek help, you must believe that the value you’re receiving is worth the investment you’re making. In describing my experience with counselling below, I hope to demonstrate the value that counselling can bring. It will not solve all your problems – but it might get you closer to addressing them.
[2] BOOKING THE APPOINTMENT + WAITING TIME
Send help, am suffering
What prompted me to request an appointment was a stressful episode midway in the semester. Long story short, I felt that I wasn’t living up to my unattainable standards and doing terribly compared to my peers. A common experience, I guess, but with sufficient intensity to shut me down for three consecutive days – a significant amount of time when you’re running on weekly deadlines. Then, I saw an email advising students to seek help at the UCC if they needed it. LOL. This whole scenario reads like a comedy advertisement.
The appointment request form is on this page (login credentials required), but you can email the UCC at ucc-students@ntu.edu.sg or call 67904462. Getting to the request page is NOT an intuitive process (take note NTU); from a Google Search of “NTU counselling”, you need a minimum of four clicks on the correct links to get there.
The specific order is Student Intranet > Student Wellbeing (under Student Services) > Counselling > Making Appointments (Students) (under Student Wellbeing) – like how many Student Wellbeings do I need to see before I get to my destination LMFAO.
hello sgsecure? i am insecure
The intake call
Surprise, surprise: the appointment booking form I filled was not, in fact, for the counselling appointment. It was for an intake call. They contacted me through my email to arrange a call, and after some back and forth, we agreed on a timing. Anyway, they forgot to call me at the stipulated timing on the day itself, and I had to write in after a 15-min period of radio silence to remind them.
The intake call is a means of gathering initial information about the client through a series of questions (for the nitty-gritty, read here). The lines of enquiry that stood out to me were:
Any current issues/life transitions/symptoms experienced in the past month
My reason for seeking counselling; what I expect to get out of counselling
Any intentions for self-harm? (They were particularly meticulous about this)
Existing sources of social support I could draw upon
Naturally, I wanted to see the counsellor ASAP, but they informed me that the next appointment wasn’t available until a month later. I remember responding: the semester would have ended by that time – what would I have to talk about then? Can’t be helped, the caller essentially replied. It was crunch time for them because everyone gets stressed around the exam/assignment period. So, ironically, the time when students are most vulnerable is precisely when they are least likely to get opportune help because the centre can’t cope with the demand.
OK, well, whatever. I booked the appointment for the following month and promptly forgot about it. Later, I had to postpone it for another week because I had an urgent deadline that cropped up, which was a hassle. The other thing about UCC’s booking system is that it is internally and manually managed. There is no convenient online portal that you can log onto – like that of polyclinics – to book or reschedule appointments. You have to write/call in to deconflict and haggle for the timing that works best for you AND them.
[3] FINALLY, THE ACTUAL COUNSELLING SESSION
24 for me but same same
Counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists
Before we proceed, a note between the differences between a counsellor and (psycho)therapist because there is a common misconception that they are the same. If you’re wondering where clinical psychologists are, they fall under the umbrella of therapists. Finally, neither counsellors nor therapists are psychiatrists, who are specialised medical doctors and the only ones that can prescribe medication for mental disorders. (Confused? This resource may help clarify.)
Therapists undergo more specialised training focusing on diagnosis and treatment, and minimally require a Master’s to practise professionally. Counselling does not require a Master’s, though there is a certification requirement of a few hundred hours of supervised training. The above does not mean one profession is better than the other – it just means they address different needs of the client. A counsellor is well-equipped to handle immediate problems causing distress and is a resource bank of coping strategies that the client can draw upon during trying times.
Think of counsellors as the “first line of defence”. If your symptoms are severe such that a counsellor’s assistance is insufficient, your case will be escalated to a psychologist or psychiatrist for further attention. But for many, seeing a counsellor will be enough. I think of counsellors as similar to GPs. We all get sick once in a while, and so seeking regular check-ups is a good habit to cultivate. But sometimes we have severe or recurring symptoms beyond their expertise, and that’s when they refer you to a specialist.
Nice to e-meet you
I opted for an online call because I didn’t want to travel down to Pulau NTU. Ah, the joys of technology! My counsellor was randomly assigned to me – I didn’t get to choose. I won’t disclose her name for privacy reasons, but she was sweet and approachable. And a great listener.
We started in an open-ended fashion, where she invited me to share what I’ve been up to and any challenges that I’d been facing recently. I’m a great rambler (ideal client type), so I wasted no time and jumped straight into rattling off all my problems. Throughout my monologues, she remained highly engaged, interjecting appropriately during my pauses.
When I shared my chronic belief of never being good enough, she gently guided me to elaborate and interrogate the causes of this belief. Examples:
When did I start feeling this way?
Is it really feasible to be the best at something (all the time)?
How do I deal with situations when I do not meet my expectations?
What is my relationship with myself?
As I attempted to answer these questions, I found myself exploring dusty places in my mind. I realised I possessed thought and action patterns that I had simply accepted as normal and automatically used without noticing their impact on me through the years. It was a pleasant surprise when her questions decentred me, throwing me off my usual line of self-talk, and pointed me in new directions to explore. It was exciting.
What I really liked was the new perspective that she offered to the things I took for granted. It’s easy to believe that we know everything about ourselves – after all, we live with the voices in our heads 24/7. And I’d already had extensive conversations with my loved ones and mentors before about the struggles I faced. While they are indubitably a valuable source of social support, I stopped learning anything new about myself from those repeated conversations at some point. So, gaining an outsider’s perspective was illuminating.
Problem-focused coping is my passion
Before ending the session, she provided me with a few coping methods to try over a few weeks. She mainly proposed journaling with specific adjustments. I mentioned that I have a habit of reviewing my day in writing, so she commended me (LOL) and recommended further minutiae I could try. Namely:
Write down the events of the day. Next, identify and label the emotions I experienced – positive or negative. Then validate them: was it reasonable to feel this way, given the circumstances? Would others have felt the same in similar situations?
If there are negative thoughts, create a separate column to reframe them: rewrite them as valuable takeaways to learn from.
Write one positive thing about myself every day (basically gratitude journaling), e.g. “I am proud of myself for powering through the day!”
You might think these sound commonsensical. I’d already learnt all of it before, and I know that these are helpful in theory. The thing is (again): it never occurred to me to practise doing these things. She reiterated that I don’t have to be ambitious or perfectionistic about this whole journaling endeavour: start small and build up slowly. The same goes for mental health, really – it’s a process.
Finally, we scheduled our second appointment for a month later, since one hour was grossly inadequate to work through two decades of self-doubt. Afterwards, she emailed me a cute diagram with tips on cognitive restructuring.
i will NOT break down today
UNTIL THE NEXT APPOINTMENT…
In summary, I would rate my experience as:
Appointment process: 2.5/5, as mediocre as me, needs improvement
Counselling experience: 5/5, exceeded expectations, would recommend to all
I firmly believe that counselling is a resource that everyone deserves and should use to better their well-being. I say this based on my experience seeking counselling and as a psychology graduate. The good news is that there are now many free counselling services available (see the end of this post for a list of community resources), and one’s educational institution is a great place to start.
Ultimately, my hope is that seeing a counsellor can be as normalised as going to your GP for a physical ailment. Fortunately, with mental health awareness steadily increasing in Singapore, that doesn’t seem such a far-off goal now. That being said, there’s always room for improvement… but that’s a story for another time.
Wishing you all wealth and health and that you will meet the counsellor who helps you flourish and be your best self!
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Update (4/1/22): Dr Lim from the University Wellbeing Office commented on this post with further resources for NTU students!
Thank you for promoting and your championing of mental health and wellbeing for our youths. Regarding my suggestion to include a link for the students, you could consider this: https://ts.ntu.edu.sg/sites/intranet/student/dept/uwo/resources/Pages/default.aspx (NTU student intranet under UWO webpage). This page has different categories of self-help and will encourage exploration of the different resources and services available to the youths.
APPENDIX: USEFUL COMMUNITY RESOURCES
Fei Yue’s Online Counselling Service ec2.sg [Live chat] Mon-Fri: 10am-12pm; 2pm-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays) e-Counselling Centre
Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) 1800 283 7019; 6283 1576 Toll-Free Helpline from 9am-6pm on weekdays (except public holidays) counselling@samhealth.org.sg A helpline for all mental health-related matters
Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT) https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/get-help/About_webCHAT/ 6493 6500 / 01 chat@mentalhealth.sg webCHAT operates from Tues to Sat, 1pm-8pm Provides a confidential and personalised mental health check for young persons between 16 and 30 years old. CHAT is NOT a counselling or crisis service
Touch Community Services 1800 377 2252 Mon to Fri from 9am-6pm TOUCHLine Youth Counselling Service
Care Corner 1800 3535 800 Daily from 10am-10pm (excluding public holidays) Toll-free Mandarin Counselling Hotline
National Care Hotline 1800-202-6868 Provides emotional and psychological support to those affected by the COVID-19 pandemic
IMH Emergency Help Line (24h) 6389 2222 Urgent intervention for those experiencing acute difficulties in their mental health
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) (24h) 1800 221 4444 pat@sos.org.sg Facebook Messenger (6pm-6am on Mon to Thu and from 6pm-11:59pm on Fri) A 24-hour suicide prevention helpline to provide emotional support for those in distress
Are you WEIGHED DOWN by your enormous responsibilities in everyday life? Do you ever feel like you could SINK INTO THE FLOOR and stay there forever? Look no further, for you can now replicate this EXISTENTIAL HEAVINESS even in SLEEP… except that this time you will relish every moment of it.
you don’t have to deal with life if you’re unconscious.
Yes. I took the leap of faith and bought a weighted blanket online during a recent sale. I’ve been meaning to do it for a long time (since I came across a Reddit post swearing by it years ago) but never got around to it until now. And it seems like I’m not the only one whose interest is piqued by this revolutionary technology! So you guys are going to get exactly what you want: a review of my experience with my new weighted blanket from Cuddle Beddings. (…I guess you could say I am weighing in with my opinion… LOL).
Note that I was not sponsored for this post – it’s written entirely volitionally, if only because 1) I love to sleep and I find it super fun to discuss sleeping and 2) my fans asked for it and 3) I have nothing better to do. But Cuddle Beddings is welcome to invite me to join them as a brand ambassador or upgrade me to Forever VVVIP status anytime. (Don’t worry – I will be sure to tag them 300 times on social media to drive home this once-in-a-lifetime invitation for them.)
Below are the main points I’ll be cover-ing.
The blanket (price, dimensions, weight, look, texture, etc.)
User experience (pros and cons, thoughts)
THE BLANKET – LAY IT ON ME, BABY
The blanket I got is named the CUDDLE™ Cool 2.0 Weighted Blanket from Cuddle Beddings on Shopee. Tbh I just swiped it because it came up on top of my search listings for “weighted blanket” and it had the word COOL in it (you know those fabrics that promise that icy sensation… I CRAVE it). It comes in all shapes and sizes (literally) – there’s a variant each for kids(?!), super single, queen, and King-sized beds.For adults, the weight ranges from 6-11kg. All are grey in colour but it doesn’t matter to me since most of the time I will spend with it is in darkness anyway.
I got the Queen-sized (accommodates 2), 7kg. I paid ~$165 after discounts, but as of this post, it’s retailing at a base price of $228. You’ll be paying minimally $200+. Included in the package was a “free” quilt cover. The whole blanket can fit three of me, so it’s sufficient for two people plus some extra room to wiggle around. It’s stitched in a way that divides it into many equally-sized squares, apparently to ensure an “even distribution of weight”. I’m not sure how it works, but I can testify that the weight feels evenly distributed to me when I drape it over my Tired Body.
As for care and hygiene, the rule of thumb for weighted blankets seems to be to avoid washing the blanket itself, because it may mess up the materials. Instead, wash the quilt cover regularly. (Update: I asked CB about this and they say it’s OK to machine wash it. I’d still avoid doing so though.)
here’s what CB (oh well) claims goes into the bedding material.
Oh look, they have a Cuddle (Sizing) Guide too. I would’ve gotten a lighter one if I could, but the minimum weight for the queen-sized is 7kg. A casual guide for my readers based on my experience: if you’re xmm-sized, get 5-6kg at most. I’m 42kg and 7kg is pushing it, though not suffocatingly so. If you’re guy or a tall/beautiful/thriving lady, also start off with 7kg. A few other (male) reviewers have commented that 9kg is heavy even for them. Also, the heavier it gets, the harder it is to lift and carry around. The weight clearly has implications for your sleep too, which I will explore next.
bought something fit for a Queen but the crown is too heavy for me??
USER EXPERIENCE
The night I received the blanket, I was so excited I jumped straight into bed with it. I didn’t even bother putting on the quilt. And BOY were my lights knocked OUT good. My whole being dissipated into a void. I woke up feeling like I couldn’t move (more so than usual), but in a sickly pleasurable kind of way. Like I wanted MORE.
oh my god.
After my first night of fitful sleep, I decided to try sleeping with my ordinary unweighted blanket over the next few days to assess if the weighted blanket made any difference. I only managed to do this for 3 days, because honestly, the temptation to return to CB was too much to resist. And that ties into my first major point about weighted blankets – once you start using them, it’s hard to go back. For better or for worse, you’re in for it once you try them. Some people liken this to an addiction. It has the same effect as discovering bubble tea, I guess.
Here are some observations based on my flawed A-B-A-B experimental design.
How does the blanket feel?
(At this moment, typing this section below, I am lying on my bed with the weighted blanket up to my shoulders for maximum immersion.)
When you get under the blanket, it takes a few moments to “flatten”. What happens is that the blanket will mould itself to snugly fit your shape. This means air pockets are minimised and most of your skin will be in contact with the blanket or your bed. It’s warmer compared to a microfibre blanket, which is what I used before. I wouldn’t say it’s cool though. It can get quite warm under the blanket because there’s less room for air to circulate. I keep myself close to the edge of the blanket at night so I can flap it quickly in case it gets too warm.
Also if you’re wondering, given its name: compared to an ordinary blanket, it does mimic the feeling of a cuddle. Of course, it can’t fully replicate the warmth and comfort from your live/breathing/snoring crush, but it gets pretty close, and does it better than a bolster (or a blowup doll, whatever your preference).
i am a toasty cinnamon bun.
Did it help me sleep better?
I fall asleep faster for sure. The overall effect feels like something is lightly pressing down on your whole body, but in a friendly, coaxing manner, lulling you into dreamland. You know that trippy state when you’re falling asleep but not quite yet, where reality warps and it feels like an angel is coming to take you to heaven? This blanket extends that feeling by getting you there faster, so you can languish in that state for just a while longer before you drift away into nothingness.
The downside of this is that it’s harder to wake up. I have long-running issues with snoozing and getting out of bed on time, and the introduction of the blanket only exacerbates my oversleeping habit. The reason for this is that the pressure of the blanket has a calming (paralysing) effect on your muscles i.e. you have to exert more willpower to summon them back into your command in the morning. For example, I intended to wake up today at 10:30am to work on this post, but I only sat up at 12pm. So there’s that – if you’re unsure of how heavy you like it, err on the side of caution and get a lighter blanket, so it’s easier to kick off in the morning.
On sleep quality – I don’t feel more or less refreshed waking up, compared to an ordinary blanket. My dreams were also unaffected: I continue to have visions with talking fish heads garnished with a looming fear of failure. Or sometimes less exciting ones. The evidence is unclear on whether weighted blankets in general help with insomnia and other disorders that affect sleep like anxiety. There’s anecdotal evidence, yes, but it’s not a panacea as their advertisements appear to promise. You’ll need more than a product if you want to fundamentally transform your sleep quality (like a commitment to regular sleeping hours, less screentime at night, getting medical treatment for respiratory problems, you know, things that actually require effort).
IN SUMMARY: IT’S WORTH ITS WEIGHT
Whether a weighted blanket is right for you depends on how you define better sleep. If it means falling asleep faster, a weighted blanket might just be your new best friend. If you’re expecting to wake up like a supermodel in like what, a Kotex ad, probably not. But you will at least enjoy going to bed more with a weighted blanket.
Long story short, I am Super Satisfied (5/5 stars) with my purchase of this CUDDLE™ Cool 2.0 Weighted Blanket from Cuddle Beddings. It’s one of those things that you could live without but concretely improves your quality of life once you start using it. At first glance, the price is enough to make you think twice, but it qualifies as a good long-term investment since I’m expecting to use this for years to come. After all, considering I’ll spend at least a third of my life in bed, I might as well enjoy the time there. With that, I’ll see you guys in my dreams where I’m rich and famous…
goodnight, sleep tight, & don’t let the bed bugs bite.
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Welcome back to the final chapter in Gwyneth’s three-month journey towards her #Beautiful Bare Face with IDS! This will be the third and final post detailing my collaboration with IDS, a leading aesthetic clinic in Singapore fulfilling the dreams of women like me all around. If you’re new, head on over to the first and second posts where I detail the skincare regime they initially prescribed me, and my skin’s response following their facial Hydro-Therapeutics Treatment (HTT).
In this review, I will recap my third visit to IDS, describing my experience undergoing one session of their legendary laser therapy. Thereafter, I will summarise the changes to my skin condition over the past three months since my first visit to IDS, and share my thoughts as our journey together comes to an end.
Mandatory disclaimer: I received services from IDS in exchange for this review. Nonetheless, I will strive to provide a fair evaluation of what worked for me and what didn’t, where applicable. Although I am a skincare noob, rest assured I compensate for it with my research skills.
unfiltered to illustrate the natural radiance IDS has given me.
Welcome back to Gwyneth’s conquest towards her #BeautifulBareFace. My journey is a three-part series detailing my collaboration with IDS, and this is the second post. If you’re new, head on over to the first post where I detail the skincare regime they initially prescribed me and my skin’s subsequent response.
This round, I will recap my second visit to IDS, which included adjustments to my skincare regime and a luxurious facial worth as much as my soul. I will also review my skin condition after 4 weeks of exclusive commitment to their products, because I am now a Changed Woman who can commit to healthy habits.
Mandatory disclaimer: I received products and services from IDS in exchange for this review. Nonetheless, I will strive to provide a fair evaluation of what worked for me and what didn’t, where applicable. Although I am a skincare noob, rest assured I compensate for it with my research skills.
And so on the fateful day that IDS(!) reached out to me for this collaboration, I took on the challenge towards achieving a #Beautiful Bare Face. This will be a three-part series, and you are reading the first post. Here, I will chronicle my initial visit to the legendary IDS and review the skincare products they recommended me.
The big question: So, did my skin improve? The answer, for now, is a tentative yes – but why take my word for it? See for yourself and decide!
Mandatory disclaimer: I received products and services from IDS in exchange for this review. Nonetheless, I will strive to provide a fair evaluation of what worked for me and what didn’t, where applicable. Although I am a skincare noob, rest assured I compensate for it with my research skills.
look at how they sparkle! OwO
A brief about the test subject before we begin:
My goal is to have a Beautiful Bare Face (BBF hereon). I aim to function without makeup as much as possible.Currently, I use makeup only for important events, which is at most 6-8x a month (not even on dates – my man has to contend with my natural beauty). Everything else is filters and facetune.
I don’t have good sleeping habits (see: eye bags). As a maximiser, I masochistically occupy myself with multiple responsibilities, e.g. research, doing an internship, leadership responsibilities, and writing this blog. So, sleep is a luxury. This also means I spend the bulk of my time exposed to blue light from screens, which could spell trouble for both my sleep and my face.
I don’t (didn’t?) have great skincare habits either. Admittedly, I know a lot less about skincare than I should, considering my face is my asset. Hell, I don’t have good habits in general. Read on to see me get lectured by Dr Ian… (sniffle)
I read The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli a while back. It already is a summarised version of 99 common thinking errors, but I took it upon myself to simplify it even further. So here we are. I haven’t completed it, though, so we’re only up to 30 for now.
Survivorship bias: success cases are over-represented, leading us to overestimate our chances of success
Swimmer’s body illusion: selection factors are confused with results
Clustering illusion: tendency to perceive patterns where there are none
Social proof: predisposition to follow others’ behaviours, esp. in uncertain situations. Combat with being skeptical and challenging norms
Sunk cost fallacy: reluctance to abandon an undertaking due to incurred costs, though that has no relevance to future outcomes (irrational). Consider only the latter
Reciprocity bias: social predisposition to respond to actions in a similar manner (e.g. kind behaviour is returned, so is hostility)
Confirmation bias: we disproportionately focus on evidence that confirms prior beliefs and disregard contradicting information. Seek out disconfirming evidence and clarify milestones to ensure we do not overlook failures.
Authority bias: information with authority is perceived as more credible/influential
Contrast effect: the effect of an object is enhanced/diminished when perceived in relation to another, though it should have no bearing (beware discounts, cheap add-ons, beauty standards).
Availability heuristic: evaluation of a concept is determined by how readily examples come to mind, which distorts actual risks and decisions made. Make effort to consider relevant but less accessible information, e.g. alternative views.
Narrative bias: illusion of causality; tendency to connect disjointed, random occurrences into a cohesive, controlled narrative (stories). Consider omitted elements (via negativa) and be wary if the bias encourages risky decisions.
Hindsight bias: hindsight is 20/20; we modify our cognitions after an event such that the event seemed inevitable and logical, although we are poor forecasters in reality
Overconfidence effect: person’s subjective confidence in his/her judgements is reliably greater than objective accuracy of those judgements – even pessimists.
Chaffeur knowledge: vs. real knowledge – people who have invested time and energy to genuinely understand a topic. Chaffeurs merely repeat it without real understanding. Know your circle of competence and recognise when you fall outside.
Illusion of control: tendency for people to overestimate their ability to control events
Incentive super-response tendency: people respond to incentives by changing their behaviour (e.g. if you pay per hour, people prolong their work). Reward both intent and result, and watch out for ways people may exploit the system.
Regression to mean: the natural tendency for phenomena to even out towards the average. If an extreme event happens, it is likely to return to the average in time (think normal distribution).
Outcome bias: tendency to evaluate a decision based on its outcome (good/bad) rather than the decision-making process. This is an error because no decision-maker in the past ever knows for sure how the risk will turn out. To avoid the influence of outcome bias, one should evaluate a decision by ignoring information collected after the fact and instead focus on the quality of the factors at play.
Paradox of choice: more choices decreases quality of decision-making, and leads to lower satisfaction. Set a list of criteria and stick to them; recognise that perfection is unattainable; and learn to love what you choose.
Liking bias: the more we like someone, the more likely we are to trust and help that person. Influenced by 1) attractiveness, 2) similarity to us, and 3) they like us too. To maximise this benefit: send people compliments and make them think you like them.
Endowment effect: people’s willingness to pay for a new object is typically lower than the amount they are willing to accept to give up the object. e.g. people lowball for textbooks on Carousell but sell it at high prices. Related to loss aversion. Related to mere ownership effect – owning an item makes one evaluate it more positively. Endowment effect applies even to near-ownership circumstances. Don’t cling to things and consider whether the relationship you have to those items really matter.
Groupthink: phenomenon where desire for harmony in an ingroup leads to dysfunctional decision-making processes and irrationality. Symptoms include: illusion of invulnerability, illusion of unanimity, pressures toward conformity.Question tacit assumptions and always appoint a devil’s advocate to break consensus.
Neglect of probability: we respond well to the magnitude of an event, but lack intuitive grasp of its likelihood (probability). Zero-risk bias: we prefer 0% risk even when the alternative may have better outcomes. When faced with emotional topics or serious threats, we respond more poorly to risk reduction stats.
Scarcity error: tendency to place higher value on an object that is scarce and lower value on those that are in abundance. The more difficult an item is to acquire, the more value that item is perceived to be. Arises from social proof and commitment. Reactance: when we are deprived of an object, we deem it more attractive. To counteract, assess products solely based on their qualities. And remember that most things will come back – like sales.
Base-rate neglect: when people are given generic information (e.g. statistics) and then specific information (e.g. anecdotes), the mind tends to focus on the latter. Disregard of fundamental distribution levels. Specificvariant of extension neglect – cognitive bias whereby people ignore size of the set during an evaluation in which the size of the set is logically relevant, e.g. ignoring sample size and variability.Watch out for anecdotal information.
Gamblers’ fallacy: the erroneous belief that if a particular event happens more often than normal in the past, it will “balance out” by occurring less in the future. This is problematic if the events are statistically independent, e.g. a dice roll. What happened in the past is unrelated to the future.
Anchoring bias: cognitive bias whereby an individual relies too heavily on an initial piece of information offered (the “anchor”) to make subsequent judgements. Once this initial value is considered, subsequent negotiations and decisions will align towards it while dissimilar values are discarded. The more uncertain the value of something, the more susceptible people are to anchors. Use anchors to elevate your value, but also be wary of them when it comes to sales.
Induction problem: inductive thinking is the tendency to draw universal generalisations from specific observations. However, these generalised certainties are always provisional – think Black Swan event.
Loss aversion (Daniel Kahneman): people fear loss much more than they value gain, and are much more motivated to avoid loss even when this comes at the expense of potential gain. Exploit this when advertising by appealing to how a product may help you avoid losses/disadvantages.
Social loafing: the tendency for individual effort to depreciate when in a team setting. Groups’ total productivity is less than the sum of its individual members working separately. Increases proportionally with group size, due to diffusion of accountability and deindividuation. Combat this by making individual contributions visible (measurement), and motivation. Related to risky shift.
baby g’s diary 