Tag: to my dearest

to my dearest, #2

gwynethtytLeave a comment

there’s a big win in here somewhere — in working on my thesis i’ve realised what i really want to do in life (spoiler: it’s not academia). i clearly have a knack for socialising, being myself online, and writing whatever i like. i find myself coming back, over and over, to these things as my refuge. and though that’s not why i’m doing it in the first place, the more intensely i give myself, the more i have received in return.

so, thank you to my beloved for being here. i want you to know that you will be in my acknowledgements and my heart always. my universe, mine.

to my dearest

gwynethtytLeave a comment

these days i feel closer to my friends: we’ve had many adventures together. i feel like i can tell them anything — and i do. i’ll spout unhinged nonsense out of nowhere, and they’ll high-five me and affirm me as the main character because, of course.

or i’ll blabber about my fantasies, and they’ll sigh and tell me, softly, as if they don’t want to hurt me, that what I want is unrealistic.

and when they do that, i’ll observe every twitch of their face, count the times they furrow their eyebrows or blink exasperatedly, and immerse myself in their sound arguments.

sometimes i listen, most of the time i don’t. i’ll inevitably make “bad decisions”, and they’ll get frustrated with me. but in the end, i always do what i want, because i know that no matter what they’ll accept me for who i am. i don’t have to justify myself because i know they’ll understand.

and isn’t that love as i’ve always wanted?

you are etched into me so much more than you realise — i am but a mosaic of our memories, heartfelt exchanges, and whispered secrets.

my universe was created by you all, and i’ll be damned, because what we’ve made is so beautiful.

walter kwan 關浩德 – love is all around