The solution to the problem of living is found in solving the problems of everyday living.
me, making stuff up
Some events in 2025 that make for good stories
- Graduated!
- Stopped posting on Instagram. The decision is boring… the LORE is not.
- I did so for a bunch of uninspiring reasons. One may be mildly interesting: I realised I possessed a decent (if in desperate need of preservation) degree of sexual appeal that could be better directed elsewhere.
- Doing so set me up for a huge dopamine hit. Later in the year, a close friend shared — hold on tight to the following — that her friend had asked about me, telling her what they heard about me from someone else… who had heard about me from someone else (II).
- …I mean, what a thrill. Almost as satisfying as getting 500 views on a single story!
- Cooley articulated it best: a person’s self-image depends on how they imagine others view them(self). So what happens when you deny onlookers an open window into your life? You become a figment of their imagination.
- My withholding information is still an attempt to curate an image (performance is inescapable). But it’s an image that leaves the audience free to create their own story about me. And within these spaces of doubt, I am free.
- In short: everyone can say anything about me. You just won’t hear about me from me…
- …but you can always come here for the tea.
- Sailed on a private yacht. Just once. Not mine.
- Got served papers. To no avail, unfortunately… for them.
- Received a Belated “apology” text. There’s only one thing I can’t believe about this saga and that is how accurate I was. I am a PSYCHIC bro. The feeling is INDESCRIBABLE.
- Made a few friends, lost more. Decided it was okay. Kept some close.
Onto the goal review…
Originally published 11/4/25
These are not very SMART goals but I downloaded a habit tracker on Notion so I think it will be OK
Body gonna body babyyyy
Partial complete
- Finish 47 pilates classes (very specific) [review comment: completed 35]
Did not do
- Bulk and cut (4 and 4 weeks?)
- Get to BFT 2x a week
- New piercing? Huhu… where indeed…
- More hee hee ha ha tattoos that I should really plan ahead for
- the struggle [I actually got as far as paying a deposit. But the artist only sent me the design literally FOUR (4) hours before the tattoo session (despite my earlier prompting). And it was ugly — like throw the baby out, man, ‘cuz this is iredeemable. I asked for a Sisyphus tattoo, not to be punished like him]
- luigi (cf above: the duality of woman)
Exercises I didn’t aim for but completed
- 20 runs tracked
- Got a Minotaur tattoo instead
Category comment: This is NOT a good category (judging my past self already). It is all over the place. But I give myself a score of 60% for maintaining my activity level from last year through trying new forms of exercise, as above, so below
Hobbies to convince others I have a personality
Complete a basic structured dance class[make that two]Get noob diving certGet a tarot card reading[so accurate, like… i think it told me i am a loser]
Did not do
- Relearn swimming for diving
- 200k on blog!!!!!!!! [ehh. I wrote a lot of emo stuff instead that I didn’t publicise. Did you catch them? Because they’re GONE now! Hahahahahaha]
- Reflections on grad school??????
- Analyses on my ultimate life tracker??????
- Purge blog, retag all posts, standardise categories/tags
- Streaming
- I want to play Lethal Company but everyone around me is a coward
- Hit balls
Category comment: It is less important to convince others I am fun than it is to have fun on my own terms. Most importantly, however, is having enough money to afford the fun. Speaking of which,
Alternatives to being a kept woman
- Secure employment
- Apply for 50 (FIFTY) jobs
- Long-term planning for finances (expenditure, investment %s…)
Category comment: Honestly, I’m better off being a kept woman
Love & Belongingness is a stage in the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Graduation+family photoshootMonumentalMasquerade as prey[hang awn… what if I am…]
Partial complete
- Attend 10 random social gatherings [clocked 6]
- Volunteer >25x this year [~15 times]
Maximising neuroplasticity
Pass JLPT N4[the results won’t be announced until Jan 2026, but I know I confirm pass]- Duolingo 800 days [abandoned]
Partial complete
- Crash course in stock market [got annihilated by perps, which is not even stocks, and have NO edge]
- Read 15 books [made it to 5. Post-graduation de-intellectualisation is real]
Not done
- Take a writing class!!!
- Learn to braid hair, one, then two
Final comment: In 2025, I believe I stepped forward in the nebulous thing called life. I should have — and by all rights I did. All that to find myself where I began. I think I achieved some big things. But I feel I didn’t do many things at all, if anything. I’m not where I want to be and it makes me terribly unhappy. And yet I look around where I am and I’m happy. I’m desperate to be somewhere else and also desperate to hold onto the here and now.
I find myself hoping that the solution to life is found in the acts of everyday living, because it would imply that happiness can be found in these goals, or at least in the process of striving towards them… but even if that were true I doubt it would be a liberating knowledge.
The time will pass anyway.
baby g’s diary 