Author: gwynethtyt

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gwyn’s ultimate guide to milk tea in Singapore

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I drink a lot of milk tea. When I say “a lot”, I mean that across the 108 days that I’ve tracked my beverage intake so far, I drank milk tea on 57 of those days. Yes, diabetes is hurtling towards me at lightspeed (I have a will in my blog drafts). Anyway,

LATER: Will make an excel sheet to organise the list below.

Rating system:

1/5 = disgusting, didn’t finish
2/5 = blargh will not drink again, struggled to finish
3/5 = OK, fine, might not buy again
4/5 = mm mm good will keep it on my roster
5/5 = all-time fav, unforgettable, fantastic, scrumptious, magnificent, top-tier,

Standard order/quirks:

  • 70% sugar, less pearl, normal ice.
  • If no black/golden pearl, no topping (white pearl does NOT cut it!)
  • I drink only milk tea, specifically jasmine/green milk tea. I stand by the belief that a milk tea brand can be judged exclusively by how good its green milk tea is. I will die on this (diabetic) hill.
    • I like sweet, flowery, and milky stuff.
    • If it has peach, I am already there.

Now for the brands, arranged in some general order of preference. Limited Edition = LTD

Chagee (now Amps Tea, and then Chagee again, it’s all over the place) – their drinks make me wanna dance like it’s Saturday night. They don’t have black/golden pearls, but I love their teas as much without.

  • Osmanthus Oolong Latte: 4/5 – I could drink a litre of this and still beg for more
  • White Peach Oolong Latte: 5/5 – I could hook this up directly to my body like an IV drip and still beg for more
  • Jasmine Green Tea Latte: 4/5 – one of the better jasmine milk teas on this entire list, sweet and flowery
  • Seasons Oolong Tea Latte: 3/5 – decent but pales in comparison to the others from this brand
  • Camelia Latte: to try – my friend recommended it

Nuobei Tea – the Sinicised version of Chagee/Amps Tea, if that was possible

  • Peach Oolong Tea Latte: 5/5
  • Jasmine Green Tea Latte: 5/5
  • Green Grape-Lychee Green Tea: 4/5

No. 17 tea – makes diabetes seem like an afterthought

  • Jade Green Milk Tea: 5/5 – when I tried this I knew that no matter where this brand goes I will follow like a devoted dog crawling on the floor, begging, whining
  • Snow Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 4/5 – AUGH (trembling) so good
  • Snow Peach Oolong Latte: 4/5 – love this, but realised jade green milk tea was superior (and milkier, despite this being a milk latte)
  • Peach Yakult Green Tea: 3/5 – fixed sugar level, too sweet, and that’s coming from ME
  • Peach Milk Cap: 3/5 – eh not as good as the others
  • Roasted Brown Sugar Pearl Milk Tea: 3/5 – ok ok only I am at a loss for words because it really isn’t all that. If I wanted a good brown sugar milk tea I still think of Tiger Sugar (where are you baby)

Koi – the longest-standing pioneer. 50% is often better with their LTD/experimental drinks

  • Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – can’t go wrong with this OG King, but loses out to No. 17 / Amps’s equivalents overall
  • Peach Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – 50% is perfect
  • Honey Milk Tea: 3/5 – decent alternative for people who want something in between green milk tea and “traditional” milk tea, basically, people who cannot make up their mind
  • Vanilla (Green) Milk Tea: 4/5 – tastes like (yummy) flowers will get this once in a while for kicks
  • Vanilla Four Seasons Milk Tea: 4/5 – dials back the flowery for the tea. I recommend getting one vanilla GMT and FSMT with your friend and sharing it. Milk tea together just tastes better!
  • Peach Four Seasons Milk Tea (LTD): 3/5 – too sweet(!), strange
  • Peach Oolong Milk Tea (LTD): 2/5 – another peach but somehow I don’t like it… everything tastes wrong in an artificial way
  • Lychee Milk Tea (LTD): 3/5 – fragrant but too sweet; can’t taste the tea
  • Peanut Butter Milk Tea (LTD): rare 1/5 – what were they thinking
    • My brother, the peanut butter connoisseur: “The peanut butter is Skippy but mixed with milk tea tastes like Shitty” he’s right
  • Mango Four Seasons Milk Tea (LTD), 50%: 3/5 – the verdict that my friend and I submit is that Koi wants to be experimental, but they’re better off sticking to the classics. This one tastes like mango sago, but where is the tea? Also, we got 50% but it was sweeter than my 100% sugar White Peach Oolong Latte from Amps. How do they determine their sugar levels? My gut feeling about men is more accurate.
  • Yakult Green Tea: 4/5 – if I was on a milk ban, this would be a good alternative
  • Lychee Black Tea (LTD): 3/5 – Again, I only drank this because I was on a milk tea ban. It will not happen again. But it was alright.

3Seasonstea

  • Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 5/5 – Sumptuous stuff — I was drinking it exclusively for weeks at one point while hammering out my thesis. Their sugar is light but lingers on the tongue (a sweetener, maybe?) My custom order, breaking from the usual: more sugar, milk cap/foam, crystal jelly instead of black pearl.

LiHo – I’d say I’m too good for them, but I drank it weekly at school anyway

  • Jasmine Light Milk Tea Cloud (LTD?): 4/5 – I actually LOVE the cloud concept and there’s this wonderful lingering taste but WHY IS IT NOT SWEET??? I ASKED FOR A 100%!!! Still think about this one sometimes though.
  • Gardenia Light Milk Tea Cloud (LTD?): 4/5 – I ASKED FOR A 100% AND I HAD TO ASK FOR MORE!!! I HAD TO ASK FOR MORE!!! Would drink again with extra sugar though.
  • Green Milk Tea: 3/5 – Not that great, but it’s the only drink I’ll accept pudding topping for
  • Money Money Light Milk Tea Cloud (LTD?): 4/5 – Glutinous rice-based. Not bad at all my friend treated me to this and then I downed 75% of it (we were supposed to share) sorry HW hope you like the necklace though ❤

AtTea – naming a whole milk tea brand after yourself is such a power move

  • Jasmine Milk Tea: 3.5/5 – lovely in a subtle way, but not enough to become a regular rotation
  • Pink Meteor 945 (50%): 3/5 – My friend got this, of course — I’m not that adventurous. Has pomegranate and guava in it? A nice drink to share, but not to drink alone.

iTea – your friendly neighbourhood bbt store

  • Green Milk Tea: 4/5 – light on tea but great on milky taste + bonus point for their insane value of $2.50 (free pearls!!!). Literally the only thing I drink at iTea like I have FILLED their loyalty cards with this alone

PlayMade — strong USP with their pearls, but their tea quality is unremarkable

  • Osmanthus Oolong Latte (w Cactus Pearl): 3.5/5 – my guilty pleasure, but starting to pale in comparison with the other brands
  • White Grape Milk Tea (w White Grape Pearl) (LTD): 4/5 – a big dopamine hit. The white grape pearls are a BOP. Better at 50%; it’s saccharine sweet
  • White Peach Oolong Milk Tea (w White Peach Pearl) (LTD): 3/5 – taste encapsulates my evaluation of PlayMade – I’m excited about what it could be until I actually try it…

Each A Cup – your friendly neighbourhood bbt store, II

  • Jasmine Milk Tea: 4/5 – This one tastes like meeting an old friend… time passes, you meet new people, and you forget about them gradually, but when you encounter them again, you remember why you loved them

Gong Cha — credits to this for being the only brand where you can taste some semblance of actual tea in their milk teas

  • Pearl Milk Tea: 3/5 – my daddy’s favourite. You can actually taste the tea in this one!
  • Peach Oolong Milk Tea: 4/5 – honestly, not bad at all. It’s milky, sweet, and has the aftertaste of tea.

Chi Cha San Chen — interestingly, low on the list (I’m not a tea purist)

  • Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Mousse/Cream, 100%: 3/5 – nothing wrong with it, there’s just better (milk) teas out there
  • Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Mango: 3/5 – I feel like you could order this from your Kopitiam aunty and she would grin and say “ok 美女” and it would cost $2? LOL
  • Osmanthus Oolong Tea + Passionfruit (50%): 3/5 – as sweet as the mango version because of the syrup they use. Review same as above

HeyTea — the closest thing to milk teas from Shanghai (those are really good btw)

  • Pure Aqua Green Jasmine Milk Tea (DISCONTINUED): 5/5 – absolute perfection. I remember the first time I drank this — I was irreversibly altered. They literally lost a customer (me) for discontinuing this. I strolled into an outlet one fine day, delirious with anticipation. I nearly screamed when they told me it was gone, and I walked out. I have never bought from them again. Let me know when they put it back on the menu, though.

Milksha (COLLAPSED) — goodbye

  • Wheat Milk Tea: 2/5 — YUCKS!! That is all
  • Green Milk Latte: 3/5 — Ehhh this score was foreshadowing that it would close down

to my dearest

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these days i feel closer to my friends: we’ve had many adventures together. i feel like i can tell them anything — and i do. i’ll spout unhinged nonsense out of nowhere, and they’ll high-five me and affirm me as the main character because, of course.

or i’ll blabber about my fantasies, and they’ll sigh and tell me, softly, as if they don’t want to hurt me, that what I want is unrealistic.

and when they do that, i’ll observe every twitch of their face, count the times they furrow their eyebrows or blink exasperatedly, and immerse myself in their sound arguments.

sometimes i listen, most of the time i don’t. i’ll inevitably make “bad decisions”, and they’ll get frustrated with me. but in the end, i always do what i want, because i know that no matter what they’ll accept me for who i am. i don’t have to justify myself because i know they’ll understand.

and isn’t that love as i’ve always wanted?

you are etched into me so much more than you realise — i am but a mosaic of our memories, heartfelt exchanges, and whispered secrets.

my universe was created by you all, and i’ll be damned, because what we’ve made is so beautiful.

walter kwan 關浩德 – love is all around

how to lovebomb a girl

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categorised into the 5 love languages, but it doesn’t actually matter — only intention combined with action means anything, and everything else can be ignored (including what you say).

you’re welcome. if this helps you land someone, just send me a wedding invite telling me i don’t have to pay for the angpao.

gifts

  • buying her stuff. a little trinket will do; it doesn’t have to be expensive. it’s not the item but the concept of i thought about you on a random day at a random moment (because i’m thinking of you all the time) and so i bought this for you. accept my love? please don’t buy her a bikini — it’s not about you, and your taste is probably NOT it anyway !!
  • sending her a Spotify playlist of songs that you think encapsulate her aura (there is nothing more intriguing than finding out what people think about you in the looking-glass self sense)
  • sending her $1000 without notice (great way to make her text you first)
  • bringing her to Sephora/Lululemon and telling her “my treat”
  • compiling a list of all her likes, dislikes, things to remember, but never let her see it (-;

physical touch

  • holding her by the chin, eye contact, and calling her “my princess” NO LAUGHING !!!
  • kissing her eyebrow, nose tip, and jaw, but not on the lips until she kisses you first
  • kabedon (i will not elaborate)
  • holding her finger in public (i.e. you should always be standing by her side and not in front).
  • by extension, appropriate PDAing; touch her hair or lean on her shoulder whatever idc DO SOMETHING
  • hugging her protectively in front of your friends casually while everyone is having fun or involved in an activity like playing mahjong. not to draw attention, but because it’s the most natural thing in the world…

acts of service/validation

  • taking photos of her when she’s not looking
  • taking photos of her whenever she wants you to (read: all the time)
  • posting pictures of her on your Instagram if you think she’ll like it (i had an era where i put a boyfriend as my dp and everyone thought i was a handsome man)
  • helping her carry her stuff without her asking. she has a baby pink handbag smaller than your face? real men rock that shit !
  • letting her win the competitive games you play together, then telling her how amazing she is

words of affirmation

  • introducing her to your friends as “my babygirl” at social events (who cares if it’s cringe, it’s your world and others are just living in it). my brother has a good opener — when he shares pictures of his girlfriend he always asks “pretty right?” the answer is yes king always !!
  • sending physical postcards to her when u go overseas. you don’t even have to write much, just like “i miss you” or “met a clown and thought of U” or “saw a waterfall, but yours is better”. remember to indicate the date so she can collect them ❤
  • aggressively liking her ig stories and commenting on her posts like Yoo Teo does to his wife. this has a dual function of telling her you are obsessed with her and also asserting your dominance as a partner to the audience – all very sexy in evolutionary terms
  • when she yaps about something, dropping your phone, paying attention, and practicing active listening (e.g. “really? wow! you’re so funny! i didn’t know that… what did you do next? and what did they say? that’s so crazy… i wish i was there. that’s why i love you, sweetheart”)

quality time (these are just date ideas that i wanna do, might as well right)

  • lying in bed and reading your journal entries to one another (you read yours, she reads hers) – nothing is more intimate than this
  • picnic date where you play chess together and debate strategies over prosciutto and cheese
  • watching a movie/drama together and taking a shot when something stupid happens. explain the joke. then mess around… of course
  • staring into each others’ eyes in silence for four minutes (legend has it people fall in love like this)

invert and you can do the same to a guy

caveat emptor

  • you should be dating her, not stalking her
  • she should like you back… and not as a friend

final note: if you think you’re being love-bombed, read this. the difference between a love bomber and someone who actually loves you is that the former is in it only for the thrill, while the latter does it because YOU deserve it. again, everything comes down to intentionality…

now get to it with your bae, sweetheart

– x, from a girl who loves the thrill ❤

(as you wish)

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Lee Hi – HSKT (ft. Wonstein)

how much do you think of me? mm, let’s be frank
i wish i could see through your heart
just tell me what’s on your mind
there’s no need to look around
don’t pay attention to other women, look at me, i’m sorry (sorry)
you’re supposed to be selfish when it comes to love (hm-hm)
i’ll raise the tension between us
have you seen a woman like this before?
i got what you need (what you need)

i bet you can’t ever forget my voice and my charms
your hands i held onto at that moment
baby, you make me
your hands sweeping over me from neck to back
and your drowsy eyes
yeah, i know it (i know it)
don’t you want me? (don’t you want me?)
i’ve got you a present, take it as you wish (as you wish)
as you wish (as you wish)
as you wish (as you wish)
in the end, as i wish

lyrics