eden

Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come.

Mario Quintana, Butterflies (translated from the original, “Borboletas”)

I feel I’ve grown a lot emotionally over the past six months. There might still be things I’m not ready to admit to myself — such as my irrational desire for a perfect partner who will ostensibly complete me — but I am also gradually realising that perhaps, just perhaps — I can be whole on my own after all.

I have embarked on so many projects this year that the younger me could hardly have imagined. Pilates princess, babygirl energy? Clarifying my boundaries, and letting go of people and things not contributing to my growth? Living as my authentic self, unwilling to be stifled by others’ projections?

Isn’t this what I wanted all along? All of this seems unreal.

I’ll keep doing these and more because I want to — not because anyone else has told me to, or because someone or society said it’s good for me. It’s good for me because I decided it is, and so it shall be.

I am tending to my garden; I will keep tending to it, rain or shine. The butterflies will come, not because I called out to them, but only because they find it a beautiful place to be.

They may be fickle; they may not stay.

And that’s okay; in the meantime — as we were meant to — we can play.